Velma is a huge lesbian

Jinkies! This is the best news we’ve heard all week. It has been confirmed – via a clip from the new movie Trick or Treat Scooby-Doo! – that Velma is a huge lesbian, which many of us already knew in our hearts. In the video, Velma experiences a gay brain malfunction when she sees a beautiful woman with glasses and a turtleneck, and her cheeks turn an adorable shade of pink. For those of us who were obsessed with Daphne but related more to Velma (or vice versa), this feels like long-awaited vindication. Hayley Kiyoko, who played Velma in two TV films, chimed in and said “I remember thinking ‘I wonder if they know they hired a lesbian as Velma’ here we are, 14 years later…”

The reviews are in. Drew Gregory says Billy Eichner’s Gay Rom-Com “Bros” Isn’t Revolutionary But It Is Hilarious, while Naveen Kumar writes that Bros Buckles Under The Weight of Its Own Masculinity Complex. Meanwhile, Billy Eichner says homophobia is to blame for the film’s lackluster performance at the box office, proving once again that the most annoying thing about the movie is that it's being framed as Progressive and Important. Also, Joel Kim Booster made a joke you might only understand if you’ve been reading this newsletter for the last several months.

In other movie news, Aisha Dee and her (rumored girlfriend) Lucy Grace Barrett star in a new (queer) horror movie called Sissy, which you can watch on Shudder. We’ll let you form your opinions about this one. 

Gay music for your ears. Amandla Stenberg wrote and released a song based on Rachel Sennot’s character in Bodies Bodies Bodies, and the lyrics are hilarious. Sam Smith and Kim Petras have released a video for their song “Unholy,” in which they perform in a car-themed burlesque show. David Cronenberg is shaking. Also, the Gaylors (aka the people who think Taylor Swift is gay) have gone mainstream, and by that we mean they were featured in a Gawker article.

In political news Slovenia became the first country in Eastern Europe to approve same-sex marriages.

Other dispatches from the little gay people inside the internet:

• You’ve got to watch this absolutely unhinged interview with queer icon Beth Ditto, who stars in the similarly unhinged show Monarch.

• Lesbian gossip purveyor and Tik Toker Kaelee Overfield was profiled in the New York Times. 

• We strongly recommend you read this piece from Huw Lemmey about what it was like to watch the Queen’s funeral from inside of Pleasuredome, London’s most famous gay sauna. 

• Megan Thee Stallion has created a website to help people find mental health resources because, as she puts it in one of her songs, “bad bitches have bad days too.” We love this. 

• Anna Silk and Rachel Skarsten are launching a podcast where they rewatch Lost Girl, also known as the greatest bisexual succubus show of all time. 

• JoJo Siwa explained her gay awakening timeline on Instagram. Her story begins with hearing Demi Lovato’s “Cool For The Summer” at age 12 which makes us feel downright elderly. 

Until next time,

Your best friend’s cat, who also happens to be the meanest femme lesbian you’ve ever met