Gayjoy Digest #5

Good morning and welcome to another edition of the Gayjoy Digest. 

We’re here with your weekly dose of queer news, plus tons of events to keep your calendar booked with gay things all through the holiday season. 

And just as a reminder: we’d appreciate it if you’d take a sec to add this email to your favorites (and mark it as “not spam”) to make sure it continues to hit your inbox. 

Cara Delevingne gets courtside kiss from Selena Gomez

Cara Delevigne sat courtside at a Knicks game last Wednesday with Selena Gomez, and the two were shown on the jumbotron for the kiss cam. Selena gave Cara what appeared to be a small peck on the cheek, leaving her with both a red lipstick smudge and a grin not so dissimilar to that of a child on Christmas morning. 

Naturally, this incident sent the lesbian meme accounts into a frenzy, reigniting rumors that first sparked in 2014 when Selena celebrated her 22nd birthday with Cara on a yacht. 

We’re happy for Cara, as she looks genuinely tickled in the photos. We’re also highly skeptical that the two are anything more than friends—especially because, when she was asked how she felt about all the speculation in 2015, Selena said she “honestly loved it.” 

Regardless, we’d like to thank the operator of the Knicks kiss cam for doing what needed to be done in this situation. 

Young MA attempts to keep it together in front of Halle Berry

Rapper Young M.A played with fire last week by asking Halle Berry what turns her on sexually, during an interview intended to promote Berry’s new Netflix movie, Bruised. Halle did not mess around, responding: 

Only ‘cause you’re askin’ me… I like, I don’t know if this is weird, but I like when you’re kissing someone and they kinda … suck the tongue? Like, suck the tongue. It might not be weird, but that turns me on. 

Young M.A responds by being completely unable to look her in the eye, despite the fact that she’s wearing giant sunglasses for the entire interview. 

You can see her blushing even behind those giant frames, no? It’s gay panic in real time.

We hope Young M.A has made a full recovery. 

Lifetime and Hallmark are bringing the lesbians this year

Lifetime and Hallmark, legendary purveyors of bad holiday films, are both releasing titles with lesbian storylines this year. Lifetime’s Under the Christmas Tree (premiering Sunday, December 19, 2021) does a great job of describing itself in a way that is so classically Lifetime, I don’t even want to attempt to write anything better: 

Marketing whiz Alma Beltran (Elise Bauman) and Christmas tree whisperer Charlie Freemont (Tattiawna Jones) cross paths when Charlie finds the perfect tree for the Maine Governor’s Holiday Celebration – right in Alma’s back yard. While they initially spar, romantic sparks soon begin to fly between the two women as the enchanting tree and some Christmas fairy dust from the town’s pâtissière extraordinaire (Ricki Lake) bring out the best in them and spark each other to take leaps of faith and fight for love and Christmas magic.

It sounds just as terrible as everything else on their Christmas lineup—and that might actually be true equality. 

Hallmark, on the other hand, seems to be more cautiously testing the lesbian waters. While there’s nothing queer in the trailer for Every Time a Bell Rings, lead actor Ali Liebert shared the following *spoiler alert* on Instagram: 

We’re happy to report that Liebert herself is openly queer, as we always love to see queer roles going to actual queer people.

It remains unclear how her co-star Lyndie Greenwood identifies, but we did come across an absolutely insane website called GayOrStraight.com while attempting to find out. According to their (presumably very scientific) methods, Greenwood is 76% gay. Nice! The film is streaming on Hallmark Movies Now – cause that’s a thing we needed apparently.

Queer briefs

• JoJo Siwa, the first contestant to appear on Dancing With the Stars with a same-sex partner, came in second place after appearing to be the favorite to win all season. 

• Transparent’s Trace Lysette is set to host a six-part podcast about Miriam Rivera, star of the 2004 reality show There’s Something About Miriam. The show’s premise was incredibly cruel, but we trust that Lysette will handle the story with care in Harsh Reality, premiering Nov. 29. 

• Noted bisexual Aubrey Plaza showed up on the TODAY show dressed as a witch to promote her new children’s book, The Legend of the Christmas Witch, and really confused the hosts. Nothing else to say about this other than that she’s very hot.  

• Queer TikTokers recently noticed that Disney’s text-to-speech TikTok Voice refused to read the words “gay,” “lesbian,” and “queer” out loud. The setting seems to have now been updated, but several creators managed to get the issue on camera. 

• Malinda Lo won a National Book Award for Last Night at the Telegraph Club, making it the first YA title with a queer woman protagnist to win a National Book Award for Young Peoples Literature. 

• The Norwegian Postal Service puts out an annual holiday movie (??), and this year’s four-minute short features a gay Santa Claus with his partner, Harry. 

Community Spotlight: Tal Alexander!

Tell us about yourself: Tal, they/them, Fort Greene. Second year in NYU’s MBA program, future management consultant, former community organizer and director of ops at a wholesale bakery, rookie ceramicist, avoidant attachment style, finsta originally designated for Lex now dedicated to vintage furniture hunting. 

1. How many of your exes do you talk to?  Friendly with all but a few. Emma, if you’re reading this, sorry I haven’t mailed your lil pouch back

2. What are 3 things you can live without but choose not to? My entire personality is specific and unjustifiable indulgence — let’s go with scents: Jao room spray, Apotheke candles, Fzotic Vetiverissimo or CDG Blackpepper eau de parfums

3. First crush, real or imagined? That moment Chessy (Parent Trap) cleans her glasses on her chambray overshirt while circling/interrogating Lindsay Lohan really taught me something

4. What’s the worst? What’s the best? The TikTok algorithm standing directly on my neck; smart people letting their guard down

5. What’s in? What’s out? The fucking astonishing generational shift in labor market power dynamics happening right now; all my go-to pants silhouettes

6. What are you building/making? A menorah but like, a sexy one

7. What’s the dream?  Living with a pack of queers on significant acreage upstate, pied a terre in Brooklyn, couple big dogs, a cognac leather 70s Le Bambole sofa, also somehow the end of both capitalism and my cognitive dissonance

8. Are your dms open!? t_alex___ - but only if you wanna get married

Queer Happenings

Nov 27, 28, 30: If you dig queer magical realism, shadow work, and inner children manifested as a bioluminescent puckish delight, come to the world premiere of LUCIÉRNAGAS brought to life by @nationalqueertheater - Titckets here.

Dec 2: Dyke Beer presents Dyke Dungeons & Dragons

Dec 2: Gush (NEED WE SAY MORE) 

Dec 2: Holy Rollers a new quarterly queer dance party @ Black Flamingo  

Dec 2: It’s Britney, Bitch, a drag fundraiser extravaganza celebrating Britney Spears at 3 Dollar Bill. 100% of ticket sales go to GLITS & Fund Texas Choice.

Dec 1: Girl social bowling and laser tag @ Chelsea Piers (7pm-11pm) 

Dec 4: Dave's Lesbian Bar Holiday Makers Market Pop Up @ Bohemian Hall Beer Garden (1pm - 1am)

Dec 4/5: Positive Perinatalclass prepares queer families for birth. Prices are sliding scale and it's all virtual. (Classes are 10-2 pm each day)

Dec 8: Queer Social presents LEZ SWIM: a Pool Party for Female Presenting LGBTQ+ Folx @ Room Mate Grace Hotel (6:30-10pm)

Dec 9: Velly Sapphic Thursday @beaubklyn (9pm+)

Dec 17: The Sappho Society Presents an Evening of Merrymaking and Yuletide Gay (RSVP Only) 

Dec 17: Studio69 Presents: the hot girl holiday special, a comedy show featuring Dylan Adler, The Dragon Sisters, & Chanel Ali @ The Duplex (9pm)