This is a gay emergency.

We’ve recently learned that lesbian superstar Kristen Stewart will be directing three music videos for the sapphic supergroup Boygenius

This is a gay emergency. We’ve recently learned that lesbian superstar Kristen Stewart will be directing three music videos for the sapphic supergroup Boygenius. This is like the sapphic Endgame, the gay-ass Superbowl. Remember when Kristen Stewart starred alongside Anne Hathaway and Brie Larson in a Jenny Lewis video? This is even gayer. Start girding your loins today.

A celesbian sighting. Screen icons Holland Taylor and Sarah Paulson attended Paris fashion week recently, and the crowds went wild. Someone on Instagram said, “there’s room in Sarah’s suit for me to join as a third.” Someone on Tik Tok alleged that they are the gays that are trying to kill us. Send us your suggestions for what you think Sarah is hiding underneath that voluminous suit.

New parental unit just dropped. You may recall several weeks ago when Aubrey Plaza was on Drew Barrymore’s podcast and they had an exceedingly strange conversation about how Drew is Aubrey’s mommy and how Aubrey should crawl back into her mommy’s tummy. There’s now been an update on this situation. Drew had Natasha Lyonne, the gayest straight woman to ever live, on her show this week, and Natasha maintained that while Drew is indeed Aubrey’s mommy, Natasha is Aubrey’s daddy. Drew was absolutely thrilled to hear this and crawled across the stage to hug Natasha and celebrate the fact that they made a baby together. Freud is literally rolling over in his grave.

Other dispatches from the little gay people inside of the internet:

Until next time, 

This image of dearly departed musician SHOPIE getting her cigarette lit in the most exquisite way possible